


Caleb Michaels Has A Lot Of Feelings (About Adam Hayes) And Sex (With Adam Hayes)

by vivacious_turpitude



Category: The Bright Sessions (Podcast)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Coming In Pants, Coming Untouched, First Time Blow Jobs, M/M, adam being a goof, and also sometimes horny gay confetti, and caleb being completely gone on him for it, and lots and lots of fluff, and not knowing how to talk about stuff, because my sons are gay and in love and it's so cute it's GROSS, featuring: caleb being an embarrassed boi, gen-z-accurate text exchanges, i'm sorry but also you're welcome, my headcanons sprinkled in like corny gay confetti, now for the housekeeping:, smutty fluff fluffy fluff so much fluff, the brief mentioning of samantha barnes/joan bright, this fic contains:
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2019-08-26 08:14:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16677901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vivacious_turpitude/pseuds/vivacious_turpitude
Summary: so like, if you feel other people's feelings, do you get double turned on if you're making out? THIS WRITER SAYS YES





	1. Chapter 1

From the voicemail of Joan Bright

Tuesday, 7:30 pm

 

Hey Dr. Bright, see, I’m calling instead of texting, just like you’re always telling to to, even though this could be… [muffled muttering]... ugh. So, I’m calling because— oh, shit! I forgot to say who it is— was?— is? It’s Caleb. Caleb Michaels. I mean, obviously. Unless you know another Caleb? [throat clear] Well, um, so, I was calling because, there’s… stuff. With Adam? Wait, I mean, NOT anything he’s doing, just me. I mean, I’m not doing anything, just— ugh. Can we have a, a, I dunno, unofficial session? Not recording and like… I just need to talk about stuff, okay? [Bee-eep!]

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

The Office of Dr. Joan Bright

Thursday, 4:00 pm

 

Caleb shuffled in, shoulders high and tight, head ducked, shrouded in a baggy hoodie, hands stuffed in his pockets. Dr. Bright didn’t need to be an empath to feel the tension radiating off him.

“Come on in, Caleb. My recorder is off, as promised.”

Caleb stayed standing awkwardly in front of his usual seat and began mumbling towards the floor.

“Soifiguredineededtotalktosomeoneanditfeelssuperawkwardbutnowi—” 

“Okay, wait, no. Caleb, sit down, pull your hood off and look at me.”

Caleb complied.

“Now what’s this “stuff” you keep alluding to, Caleb?”

Caleb took a deep breath. This was so awkward, but the fact that it was Dr. Bright made it easier. Her emotions were usually a pale, cool gray in session. Sometimes, when something upset her, they would darken and turn stormy, and when she was proud or happy, the gray would become bright, like an overcast sky with the sun beaming behind it. But usually, that cool, calm gray— neutral and non-judgemental. This was going to be okay— stupidly embarrassing, but okay. He let out his breath.

“So, the thing is, I like Adam. Like, a lot?”

Dr. Bright’s gray became warmer, amused.

“Okay, okay, I know you know that. I mean, duh. But do you remember when I told you about the stomach flutters? How I had mine and Adam had his but together they were, like, so much?”

“Yes, Caleb. I remember. You said it was like the fluttering multiplied when you were both feeling it together.”

“So, like, that was just like, anticipation, kind of? But like, anticipation of a  _ person _ , not like a thing, you know? Like, I still feel it between us, but it started having this other feeling sort of mixed with it?”

Caleb had become distracted enough trying to articulate his feelings that he had shrugged off the anxious and combative cloud he had walked in with, Dr. Bright noticed. His eyes were bright and he was gesticulating wildly.

“This other feeling. How does it feel? Do you experience it in your stomach, like the fluttering?”

“That’s the crazy thing! I don’t feel it in the same place at all— it’s like, like a tingling, but it’s warm and it feels like someone is squeezing, just like, gripping really hard, and it hurts, but in a good way? Like how your stomach hurts after a really big meal? But not in your stomach, up here—” Caleb gestured to his chest. “Just, like, filling up my ribs.”

Dr. Bright’s emotions had gone sweet and a little bit longing.

“That sounds beautiful, Caleb. Is that why you wanted to meet today? Are you frightened of this emotion?”

And there it was. Why had he come here today. Why had he requested a private appointment. Anxiety and embarrassment dropped like a leaden weight into Caleb’s lap.

“No, um, no, that’s not why. I just wanted to start with that, because it’s easier to explain? It’s… not the only new feeling. With Adam.” Caleb’s cheeks flushed and he looked back down at the carpet in front of him.

Dr. Bright felt the pieces click into place. Caleb felt her confusion disappear, replaced by a burst of understanding. He blushed harder.

“Caleb, it’s very normal at your age to be experiencing sexual urges, and—” Caleb’s eyes shot up.

“ _ Ugh _ , oh my god, Dr. Bright! My parents have already given me “the talk,” and believe me, it was embarrassing enough the first time! I know it’s normal to… ugh… look, I go to high school, okay?  _ Believe me _ , I know.” There was a pause. Caleb looked back down at the carpet.

“But yeah, it’s sort of about that.”

A longer pause.

“Normally, it’s not, like, directed at me? Well, I mean sometimes it is, but it just feels kind of slimy because, you know, I’m not feeling it. And obviously, Adam’s emotions have always been stronger? So, I mean, yeah. It’s different.”

“What’s not directed at you, Caleb? The urges?”

“Can we not call it that? It’s… ew. I’m having flashbacks to 7th grade health class.”

“What would you call it then?”

“I don’t know, the “into it”-ness? Being turned on?  _ Not _ urges.”

“Okay, how would you say it’s different when Adam is, as you say, “into it”?”

Caleb’s flush was deeper now, but he had started glancing at Dr. Bright now instead of trying to be absorbed in the carpet.

“Well, it’s like the fluttering, I guess? It’s multiplied. Well, not always at first. Like, okay, apparently he likes how I look after practice? Like, he  _ really _ likes it.” Caleb smirked slightly.

“So, like, when he comes up to me after practice, and he’s like, proud of me and fluttery and he’s kind of blushing, but you can’t really tell unless you’re looking for it because his skin’s dark enough? There’s this, like, clenching? Like, it’s hot all over, like when you’re embarrassed, except not like that. And the clenching, it’s, like, tight? Kind of like the chest feeling, but not, more like right before the tackle in a game, when you’re crouched and waiting and all your muscles are tight. And it’s, um, lower. Than the fluttery feeling, I mean. Anyway, so like, I can feel him feeling it, even though at first  _ I’m _ not, I’m just feeling my football feelings, team unity and whatever, but knowing that he’s, um,  _ into it _ , or fucking whatever, it starts making  _ me _ feel it too and then it’s multiplying and. Uh. Yeah.”

Dr. Bright’s amusement flowed out in her voice. “Caleb, it sounds like you like that your boyfriend finds you attractive, that feeling him be “into” you makes you feel similarly.”

Caleb looked almost offended. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess.”

“So what’s the problem? That’s a pretty normal human reaction.”

“Yeah, but coming in your pants just ‘cause your boyfriend kissed you  _ isn’t _ !” Caleb spat, looking horrified as soon as the words left his mouth.

There was a pause.

“Caleb, it’s okay. There’s no judgement here.”

Caleb looked balefully through his eyelashes at Dr. Bright.

“Look, Dr. Bright, I just— it’s awkward. I feel like a, a freak! A weird sex freak!”

Dr. Bright let herself laugh quietly.

“Atypicals’ powers and sex sometimes intersect in… imperfect ways. Believe me, I know.”

“No, you don’t! You’re not atypical!” Caleb didn’t look angry so much as wounded.

“Since this isn’t an official session, Caleb, I can tell you, yes I  _ do _ know. I may not be atypical, but I am a sister who’s walked in on some disturbing scenes,” a little laugh, “and I am in a romantic relationship with another atypical.”

Caleb’s focus shifted with lightspeed and laser-focus.

“Who? And why would it be hard for any other atypical to have— why would it matter, I mean?”

“Sex, Caleb. You can say it, and if you can’t you shouldn’t even be considering it.” Dr. Bright shifted slightly in her seat, her gaze turned calculating.

“If I tell you that, will you talk clearly and honestly about the issues you and Adam are having?”

Caleb’s head nodded like a possessed bobblehead. “Yes, yes, yes.”

“Okay, I’ll tell you at the end of our session. Now, explain more about what’s actually going on.”

“Okay. Well, it’s not like I’d never been turned on before Adam, you know? I’m a guy. I’ve jerked off, whatever. But it was never like— like— like I can’t breathe, it’s so strong. And it’s so embarrassing! We’ll be making out and shit, like on his bed after studying or whatever, and at first it’ll just be the fluttering, but then it’ll get more, um, in depth. And like, all our clothes are still on! And yeah, we’re like cuddling kind of, but we’re not, like, grinding. But it’s like I can feel how good it feels for me and then how good it feels for him and that makes me feel even more, and I’m, like embarrassingly turned on, and I’m making these…  _ noises _ … and then, if we don’t stop, I, you know, finish. And he hasn’t even broken a fucking sweat!”

“Does Adam seem to mind your participation? Does he realize what’s going on?”

“Yeah, I mean, I explained it to him, sort of. But he was still all turned on from making out, and he said it was fine, but I couldn’t feel anything because his turned on feelings were like, blocking it. But it’s so dumb!”

“Well, I think you should have some more conversation about it, preferably when you two aren’t in a heightened emotional state, but Caleb, he might really be okay with it.”

“I mean, definitely not, but it doesn’t matter!  _ I’m _ not okay with it!”

“Okay, well, Caleb, this might just mean practice.”

“Sex practice?”

“Well, of a sort. You need to focus on differentiating your feelings when you’re in that situation with Adam— see the blue in the green more than the green itself. If you can focus on your feelings and sensations in that moment, it might not feel as overwhelming. And remember, it’s okay to be trying these things out. It’s natural. Some people might even see you as lucky— not everyone has such vivid sexual encounters.”

“ _ Ugh _ , Dr.  _ Bright _ , you sound like a textbook. Or a mom.”

“Well, right now, I’m acting as your mom, so thank you.”

There was a pause where they both smiled warmly. Caleb rolled his eyes.

“Okay, yeah, I actually feel better, Dr. Bright. You're right, talking about stuff helps. or whatever. Thanks.”

“Any time, Caleb.” Caleb made his way to his feet, weight lifted from him.

He paused before walking out the door.

“Who is it, Dr. Bright? You said you’d tell.”

Dr. Bright smiled widely. “I’m also just telling you because you’re going to find out anyway. It’s Sam.” As she said Sam’s name, Dr. Bright’s emotions streaked with warmth.

“Oh, wow. That’s cool. Weird, but cool. Oh shit, it must be hard to bang if she like disappears to another time or whatever?”

“Caleb, that’s crass. You know better. And to answer your question, Sam is extremely important to me, and her comfort and happiness is the most important thing to me.”

“See you for a normal session later, Dr. Bright.”

“Oh, and Caleb?”

He turned, hand on the doorknob. “Yeah?”

“There are physical ways to delay orgasm as well. Do some research.” Dr. Bright’s eyes twinkled. Caleb blushed darker for a second before letting himself out the door.


	3. Chapter 3

Adam’s Room  
Saturday, 1:30 pm

Caleb sat cross-legged by the foot of Adam’s bed with his Biology textbook open in front of him. He had been studying— trying and failing to memorize an endless list of different biochemical formulas, structures, and functions— but now he was watching, bemused, as Adam paced and ranted around his room. Adam was going on about Pride and Prejudice: how it was a great feminist love story that was under-recognized in the modern era, how it portrayed social anxiety in a rigid Victorian society, how Elizabeth was sassy and amazing, how Mr. Darcy was emotionally repressed, how Colin Firth was totally hot, the relative merits of various adaptations. Adam’s voice was strident and he kept punctuating his statements with flailing hand gestures.

God, Caleb was so gone on him. Just watching Adam geek out was filling him with that warm, fuzzy feeling of contentment that he was scared to name as what he knew it was. Love. Not necessarily in an epic romance, Lizzy-and-Mr.-Darcy, sort of way, though sometimes it would fill up his chest so much that it hurt and he wanted to make grand gestures and run dramatically on the moors in the rain.

God, Adam was turning him into a nerd.

Somehow he didn’t mind it too much though. He could even admit that he had a thing for dramatic historical romances.

Adam was still ranting, now onto the “practical impossibility of adapting a book to a halfway decent movie,” and Caleb just wanted to kiss the words out of his mouth. Instead he just looked hungrily at his dumb, sweet, nerd boyfriend.

 

Adam stopped short suddenly, blushing and stammering. Caleb could feel his face, in a cheek-cracking grin, blushing back a little as well.

Adam strode over to Caleb’s side and plopped himself down in a jangle of long, loose limbs.

“Sorry, I guess I was being a dork again.”

Caleb turned Adam’s head towards him and leaned in for a kiss. He could feel the smile on both their lips.

“Yeah, you totally were.”

“Caleb!” Adam hit his boyfriend upside the head.

“What? You said it first.” Caleb’s grin was cheeky, and Adam took the opportunity to kiss it off his face. This time the kiss was deep and searing. Their smiles faded under the intensity of the kiss as Adam moved closer, almost onto Caleb’s lap. Electricity bounced around Caleb’s stomach, heat streaking through his veins. He couldn’t tell how much of the feeling was Adam and how much was him.  
One of Caleb’s hands came up to play in Adam’s bushy hair, the other held Adam up around the shoulders. Adam’s hands were pressed on Caleb’s chest, roaming over his broad shoulders and playing with the curl at the nape of his neck. Each time one of them began to pull back, they would end up just repositioning themselves deeper into the kiss. Adam bit gently at Caleb’s lips, Caleb retaliated by sucking on his tongue. Tightness was building in Caleb’s stomach, curled around the base of his spine. His whole body felt hot. His skin felt hungry. He tried to smother the noises bursting from the back of his throat against Adam’s lips, but a moan escaped, loud and quivering in the air.  
Caleb flushed dark and embarrassed and pushed Adam back.

“Caleb?”

Caleb wouldn’t meet Adam’s dark eyes.

“Caleb, what’s wrong? Did I do something wrong?”

The tingly warmth had fled and was being replaced by a volatile cocktail of anger and shame from Caleb and insecurity and fear from Adam. Together, it was making Caleb nauseous.  
Caleb could feel as Adam’s emotions began to spiral, growing darker and more painful. Caleb couldn’t let Adam think this was his fault.

“No! No, okay! You are doing everything perfectly right and amazing, and I’m fucking it up, okay?”

Caleb’s blazing eyes met Adam’s sad ones, but when he spoke, his voice was gentle.

“Please, stop feeling insecure. This is about me, okay?”

Adam looked back steadily. “Tell me what this is about? Because right now, all I can think is that I’m too much of an ugly, disgusting freak for my boyfriend to want to kiss and maybe I’ve been forcing him into this all along.” His tone was joking, but Caleb heard the thread of truth.

“No, ugh, god, I suck at this. Let me just— try to explain?”

Caleb took a deep breath.

“You are not ugly or doing anything wrong. You are so, so, so not those things. That is kind of the fucking issue, Adam. You’re hot, and I’m a teenage boy, okay?”

“And so am I, where is this going?”

“It’s going to that we are teenage boys with hormones or what-the-fuck-ever, and I’m a teenage boy that can feel your emotions. When we are making out.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah.”

“Shit, I’m so sorry Caleb. Have I been coming on too strong? Is it creepy? Is it awkward? Should I—”

“NO, Adam, you’re not getting it. It’s not just your emotions, it’s mine combined with them too.”

“Oh.”

“Trust me, you are not creepy at all. I feel creepy, being able to feel your— emotions.”

“Bet that’s not all you can feel.” Adam leered exaggeratedly.

“Shut. Up. I’m trying to tell you something hard— difficult, I meant difficult, don’t wink at me like that.”

“Fine, fine, I’m being serious. And seriously, I don’t see the problem, Caleb.”

Adam’s emotions were still slightly tinged with anxiety, but mostly Caleb felt a warm, buoyant feeling with some of that chest tightness he associated with affection.

“The problem, Adam, is maybe I want to be able to fool around with you. The problem is that every time we get anywhere close, I come in my pants like a fucking loser!”

Caleb couldn’t ignore the sudden splash of arousal his words prompted in Adam.

Adam broke eye contact, blushing and mumbling.

“What if that isn’t a problem?”

“What do you mean, what if this problem isn’t a fucking problem?”

“What if I’m into it?”

Even the rush of shame that accompanied Adam’s words couldn’t distract Caleb from the feeling that burst in his own stomach. It was relief and joy and yeah, arousal. He was only human, okay?

“I, um. That would be. Nice?” Caleb’s voice cracked on the last word, and they both started laughing, the tension crumbling.

“You fucking idiot, you can feel my emotions! I can’t believe I had to spell that out for you!”

“Well, look, maybe I was slightly distracted by being turned on by someone for the first fucking time who was being turned on by me?”

“I thought you weren’t into me, you loser!”

“I was too into you, you dumbass!”

The talking devolved as Adam jumped on his boyfriend and started pounding his chest with ineffectual fists. Caleb just laughed.

“Stupid— muscley— emotionally-repressed— jock—”

“Hey now.” Caleb caught Adam’s fists and flipped them so Adam was pressed between Caleb and the bed. They were both breathing hard and grinning. Caleb had a flush visible high in his cheeks and when he looked down at Adam, Adam could see that his eyelashes were ridiculously long.

“Hi.” Adam couldn’t help the hitch in his voice.

“Hi.”

There was a pause where they looked at each other, dark eyes meeting hazel, breathing each other’s breath for a moment. Caleb could feel the sparks fizzling in his stomach, fluttering and tightening and buzzing.

“Can I, can I kiss you?”

“Yeah.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things get sexY

Caleb leaned in and kissed Adam, at first soft, but turning deep and messy. Caleb found himself threading his hands through Adam’s short dark hair, groaning into the kiss. Adam made a sharp noise high in his throat, hands scrabbling at Caleb’s broad back, snaking around his waist. Caleb broke the kiss, his hips bucking forward for friction unavailable at their awkward angle— Adam sitting tucked between a kneeling Caleb and the side of the bed. 

“Fuck fuck fuck.” Caleb was blushing furiously and looking away. He heard a choking noise from Adam and was treated to a heavy stab of arousal.

“We can, on the bed, the bed’s right here, we could—” Caleb interrupted his sweet, stuttering boyfriend by hoisting Adam onto the bed in a single smooth movement and climbing over him.

“Fuck, Caleb, that’s hot, that’s stupid hot, you dumb jock, fuck.” Adam’s pupils were blown out and when Caleb pressed himself over his boyfriend, he felt that they were both hard. Adam kept babbling.

“You just manhandled me, it was like I didn’t even weigh anything? I bet you could hold me up against a wall, fuck, we could, up against a wall, Caleb, that’s so, oh my god—”

“Adam, I’m gonna come if you don’t stop talking. Adam, fuck—” Caleb broke off, hanging his head, with his soft, dark hair falling around his face, breathing hard.

Adam stopped talking, his eyes bugging wide and his arousal like a jab to Caleb’s solar plexus. He couldn’t stop himself from letting out an extended moan.

“Caleb, Caleb, that’s. I’m. You’re so fucking hot, Caleb. Just, you have to know that, right?”

Caleb laughed, half-self-deprecating, half-unbelieving. He felt the grip of the arousal loosen slightly, the warmth spreading up to his chest and blushing into his face.

“Adam?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I suck your dick?”

Adam’s spike in arousal was an electric shock to Caleb’s gut, but it did make him smirk down at his wide-eyed boyfriend.

“That’s a yes, right?”

Adam nodded jerkily. “Please.”

Caleb took the opportunity to begin meandering down Adam’s body. He paused over Adam’s neck, and bent his head to suck and bite at the clean line of Adam’s throat. Caleb liked how different his body was from Adam’s— he liked how Adam’s shoulders were narrower, how Adam’s neck and collarbone were delicate and delicious, how Adam’s chest was bony around his fluttering heart, how his stomach was gently curved between his hipbones. Caleb liked all the places on Adam’s body that were soft and pillowy where his body was all hard muscle. As he moved down to Adam’s chest, he sat back and helped pull off Adam’s shirt, before pushing him horizontal again and laying siege to his chest with questing fingers. As Caleb feathered kisses between Adam’s neck and shoulder, he used his fingers to map his boyfriend’s chest. When Caleb’s pinkie brushed a nipple, he didn’t miss the harsh intake of breath. 

“Is that good?”

A shuddering breath came from Adam.

“More, do more, please—” and then, as Caleb pinched slightly, “Ohgod, yeah.”

“Both of them?” As Adam opened his mouth to answer, Caleb tried this new trick again, a firmer pinch, and felt Adam’s hips buck under him as the answer to his question became a moan.

“Stop— cheating! Yes, both of them, they’re really— oh,  _ fuck _ , Caleb!” While Adam had been distracted, Caleb had licked his fingers and brought both hands back to Adam’s nipples, pinching and rubbing by turns. The gentle hip bucks had turned to squirming writhes as Adam fought to both be closer to the source of his torment and retreat from it. Caleb’s grin was blinding, even as he was hit with wave after wave of his boyfriend’s arousal.

“Caleb, stop teasing, please, more.” Caleb liked how easily Adam begged for his touch. He decided to do what his boyfriend wanted so badly, and lowered himself further back on the bed until he was level with the crotch of Adam’s stupid black skinny jeans.

They had hooked up before this, grinding in their jeans and Caleb jerking Adam off, but never mouths. Caleb was afraid he would lose it before Adam even got near his dick and worried that if he gave Adam a blowjob, he’d want to reciprocate. Now he was worried he wouldn’t be any good, but he knew that if he wasn’t he could just revert to using his hands, which he was familiar enough with. 

Caleb used his elbows to pin Adam’s hips to the bed as he unbuttoned and unzipped Adam’s ridiculous jeans. He suspected the loud groan that he got in response was only partly due to the potential for their first blow job— those pants looked confining as hell, even when Adam wasn’t hard.

Under his jeans, Adam was wearing black boxers printed with turtles, and his dick was straining the fabric. Caleb licked his dry lips, and Adam whined.

“Can I?” Caleb asked, hooking his fingers around the hip band of the boxers and teasing the skin underneath it.

“Yes, yes, god.”

Caleb yanked down in response, barely missing getting hit in the face with Adam’s eager dick as it bounced free from confinement. Caleb huffed a half-laugh, but seeing Adam’s dick twitch in response sucked the air out of his chest. 

It was a nice dick, Caleb thought. Not too thick, plenty long, but not imposing, beading up a bit at the slit with precum. And Adam’s. That made it not just nice, but awesome. 

Caleb decided to start small, holding Adam’s cock steady and starting suck just around the head. Even that swamped him in arousal so strong he almost missed Adam making a sound somewhere between a scream and a moan, guttural and ringing and kicking up his legs to squeeze around Caleb’s waist. When he looked up, he saw Adam’s eyes were squinched shut and his face was stuck between abandon and anguish. Caleb felt the blood pounding in his veins, pouring towards his dick. Fuck, how did he get such a pretty boyfriend?

The taste of the precum was salty and a little bitter, but Adam’s cock itself mostly tasted like clean skin and musky sweat. Caleb decided he liked it. He took more into his mouth, trying to maintain suction and cover his teeth, even as his eyes rolled into the back of his head with Adam’s pleasure. His moans vibrated around Adam’s cock. Adam was trying to speak through his own hoarse moans, groans, keens and whines.

“So good, Caleb, I— oh, god— ah, that’s so— fuck, fuck, fuck,  _ Caleb _ — I’m— please—” 

Caleb kept Adam’s hips immobile even as the rest of his body tried to curl around Caleb. Caleb decided to see how far down he could go— the wiry, tight curls around the base were neatly trimmed and he wanted, just  _ wanted _ . Still holding Adam’s hips, he began his descent, pausing as Adam’s cock hit the back of his throat, but trying to move past it even as he felt his throat flutter around the intrusion.

“Caleb! Gonna come, gonna come—” Adam’s hands moved from where they were fisted in the breadspead and batted at Caleb’s shoulders ineffectually. 

Caleb pulled his mouth off Adam. His voice was raspy. 

“Okay. Do it.”

Adam’s response was only a broken whine.

Caleb moved his mouth back down, laving his tongue over Adam’s slit. He could feel how they were both shaking from the arousal. He was honestly surprised he hadn’t come yet— probably being so focused on a task was helping, even if the task was sucking his boyfriend’s dick. He knew he wouldn’t be able to hold out when Adam came, but that was okay.

He moved his hand to stroke Adam where his mouth wouldn’t cover, a smooth rolling motion, tight around the shaft, just like he knew Adam liked. 

Adam’s hips were bucking freely now, a counterpoint to the moans falling loud and plaintive in the air. Caleb could feel as clearly as if it were his own body as Adam’s arousal reached its peak. They came together, whitehot and blinding, Adam in Caleb’s mouth, Caleb in his jeans, rubbing against the bed. Caleb could feel it in his entire body. 

Coming down was like being wrung out like a wet towel, but his whole body felt dizzy with pleasure. He and Adam both shivered through the aftershocks, nerves sparking. Finally, Caleb came back to himself.

 

His mouth had fallen open as he shuddered through his orgasm and he could now see that Adam’s come had slipped out of his open mouth somewhat, dripping down his chin and back onto Adam’s lower stomach. He flushed, not quite embarrassed enough to have it touch his post-orgasm high, but enough to downcast his eyes for a moment. 

“Sorry for the…” he gestured towards the mess he had left, realizing his voice was rough and crackly, like a veteran smoker.

He looked up at Adam, who thankfully looked just as dazed as he felt. 

“What? No, um, it’s fine, I have tissues and stuff, just— give me a minute here?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you need me to…” Adam made the motion of jerking off in the air.

“Nah, I… I’m good. From that.” Caleb looked bashful. “Was it okay? I’ve never— obviously—”

“I think you just sucked my brains out of my dick, dude. Gimme a minute to recover before having a self-esteem crisis, why don’t you?”

Caleb laughed scratchily. For a moment, everything else was overwhelmed by that beautiful tight feeling in his chest, warm and affectionate. God, he loved his stupid boyfriend.

“Well, hurry up!”

Adam pouted. 

“You’re not helping, looking like a fucking wet dream right now!”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, you fucker. You have my  _ cum _ on your face. It’s fucking hot, sue me!”

“I’m finding out about all sorts of kinks today, aren’t I?” Caleb smirked.

“Oh fuck you, you get hot off my emotions, who fucking cares.”

“I’m just saying, it’s always the quiet ones…”

“Stop ruining my afterglow you jerk!”

“ _ Our _ afterglow, babe.” 

“Shut up, loser.”

“Dork.”

“Jock.”

“Nerd.”

“Dumbass.” Adam reached on his bedside table and grabbed a box of tissues. “Here, you ungrateful swine.”

“That’s no way to talk to someone who just rocked your world.”

Adam just stuck out his tongue.


	5. Chapter 5

From the Messages of Caleb Michaels

Sunday, 8:15 pm

 

_Adam_

_yeah we just got back_

_we went out for indian food_

Caleb

nice. mom made tacos for everyone

it was so fucking funny tho

alice was talking abt school and like moving her hands a bunch

and her taco fuckin flew out of her hand

just like

WHOOSH

fuckin YEET

spilled all over the table

she didnt even notice at first either

_Adam_

_ahahahaha_

_yr entire family is fuckin allergic to sitting still tbqh_

Caleb

u right. u luv it tho

_Adam_

_yeah i know_

_listen_

_this is really awkward but like_

_r u in yr room right now?_

_like far away from prying eyes?_

Caleb

yea

i’m on my bed should i close the door

_Adam_

_yes yes do that_

Caleb

ok done

_Adam_

_and if this goes horribly awkwardly_

_can we pretend i never said anything?_

_like_

_erase it from our memories_

_men-in-black style_

_?_

Caleb

GOD u dork

yeah sure whatever

now tell me already. the suspense is unbearable

_Adam_

_it’s actually a question. like a horribly invasive question u don’t have to answer it u can just tell me nah or fuck off or whatever_

_it’s abt like_

_sex_

_sex things_

_god i’m blushing so hard right now this was a dumb idea_

Caleb

sex things? i thought they were called penises

_Adam_

_CALEB_

Caleb

or are Sex Things orgasms?

those are Unisex Sex Things

r u feeling unisexy tonight

_Adam_

_I HATE YOU SO MUCH_

Caleb

no u dont

plus i bet ur laughing now

instead of looking like u sucked a lemon

an anxiety lemon

_Adam_

_… maybe so_

Caleb

anyway

sexy man

i believe u had a question for me?

_Adam_

_dont call me sexy man u meathead_

 

_Adam_

_k here goes nothing_

 

_Adam_

_can u cum more than once?_

_like_

_in a row_

Caleb

…

_Adam_

_ohgod it was too soon i suck i’m just gonna_

_leave the planet earth now_

_in search of a place where i can die of humiliation_

_peacefully_

_surrounded by noone and nothing that knows abt my sordid past_

Caleb

no wait i

um

yes

_Adam_

_a death in calm unembarrassed solitude_

_far far away from_

_wait_

_what?_

Caleb

the answer.

to the question

it’s yes

i think?

_Adam_

_oh_

_fuck_

 

 

_Adam_

_how can you not be sure? it seems kind of_

_definite_

_as these things go_

Caleb

i mean it’s happened

like

it’s not like i stay hard

but i mean there was a time

when i first discovered jerking off

that i came like 3 times in like

30mins

_Adam_

_challenge accepted_

Caleb

ok holy fuck that’s

hotter than it should be

but also

sounds painful?

maybe i should practice first?

_Adam_

_oh is that what the kids are calling it these days_

Caleb

fuck u

_Adam_

_only if u ask nicely_

Caleb

well

there's a lot to unpack there

like how it Definitely shouldn't be a Thing i'm into but

um

listen

i’m gonna

go

now

_Adam_

_and i repeat_

_oh is that what the kids are calling it these days_

Caleb

shut Up i need to think some stuff over

_Adam_

_oh well_

_think Long and Hard then_

_;)_

Caleb

shut UP

_Adam_

_enjoy yourself_

Caleb

i hate u

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so comments are my literal lifeblood some tinkerbell ass shit if u don't clap ur hands and believe i die except it's comments not clapping and it's not dying it's worrying nobody likes what i wrote
> 
> basically  
> u write comments, i write updates
> 
> bc u INSPIRE and MOTIVATE me!!!
> 
>  
> 
> shout out to tea_em0 and maravder for basically being responsible for my motivation to write this fic so far


	6. Chapter 6

On Monday, when they saw each other first period, Caleb and Adam both flushed bright and pink, skittering their eyes away, but sat next to each other all the same. Adam studiously tried not to think about Caleb, alone in his room, hand on his dick, coming again and again, sweaty and strung out, and Caleb tried not to think about the the hot, prickling waves of arousal hitting like punches and emanating from his red-faced boyfriend. The teacher calling the class to order broke the tension.

For the rest of the morning, Caleb felt the _zing_ of electricity as his boyfriend snuck glances at him. At lunch, he felt heat from his fingertips to his toes. Afternoon, a lazy, heavy wash of arousal stirred around him. When the last period bell rung, he dragged Adam to an empty stairwell by the science lab. While being dragged through the roiling crowds, Adam sputtered and blustered, but in the silent stairwell he went suddenly quiet. Caleb’s broad shoulders, barrel chest, swooping hair filled his vision.

“Hey.” Caleb said shyly.

Adam looked up, blushing but cheeky.

“Really? Is that all? I spent a good portion of today trying not to get hard in class and “ _hey_ ” is all I get?”

They both burst out laughing. It echoed slightly in the empty stairwell. Caleb dropped his head to muffle his laughter on Adam’s shoulder.

“Believe me, I know,” Caleb mumbled.

“Oh shit, yeah,” Adam giggled, “I almost forgot—”

“No you didn’t.”

Adam smiled fondly. “No, I didn’t.”

Adam brought his hand up to stroke through his boyfriend’s curls. “Figured you should suffer with me when this was all your fault anyway.”

“Yeah?”

“... I mean. The way we left things last night, what did you expect?”

Caleb flushed, shy and smug all at once.

“I still kind of can’t believe that you think it’s hot.”

“I still can’t believe you think _I’m_ hot.”

“Fucking dork.” And before Adam could rejoinder, Caleb caught him in a kiss.

They kissed, wet, messy, pressed against the stairwell wall. Adam draped himself around Caleb, arms around his neck, twisting up and into the kiss. Caleb pressed at him, knees almost knocking, sealing their bodies together, thigh-hips-chest. One hand laced into Adam’s ‘fro, one twined around his waist. Their kisses still uncoordinated, slightly sloppy, with the eagerness of puppies and only slightly more experience.

Adam felt the fire that had been lurking below his stomach all day rekindle. He knew he was most of the way to half-hard in his pants, and, with a roll of his hips, he could feel Caleb in the same state. Eyes still shut, he whined into the kiss, bucking his hips for more friction.

Caleb gasped back and gave a slow, dirty grind into the wall.

It was so good Adam’s mouth dropped open on a moan. Trying to squirm closer and burying his face in Caleb’s chest, he mumbled something.

Caleb unlaced his hand from Adam’s hair and tipped his face up towards him. He could see Adam’s flush.

“What was that?”

Their eyes met, Adam’s filled with humor and lust. “You’re doing it for all sorts of wall-fucking fantasies I have, you know.”

Caleb’s breath was stolen by the statement. He guessed it showed on his face, because Adam continued, hips twitching slightly at odds with his deadpan tone.

“And see, you’re gonna get me all worked up, and I’m going to have to sit through football practice trying not to distract you with how I’m imagining you doing obscene shit to me against this wall.”

“Based on how distracting you’ve been for, like, all of today, that’s going to be… _interesting_.”

Adam chuckled breathlessly.

“Sorry…”

“No, it’s fine. It’s just, as I see it, we have a couple of options.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. So we _could_ just hump in this corridor like heathens until one of us, probably me, ruins their pants. I’m against this one personally.”

“Understandable.”

“Another choice is you, and possibly me too, find ourselves the least gross bathroom and, um, takes the edge off—”

“Ugh, Caleb you _know_ how gross even the _least gross_ bathroom is!”

“I’m just saying, it is _an_ option—”

“No, it’s definitely not.”

“Alright, it’s _not_ an option, moving on. We could, we could not do any of those things, and you could go wait in the bleachers while I think really unsexy thoughts way over here, and you think really unsexy thoughts _way_ over there, and, um, totally optionally, right after practice we could go to your place and— yeah?”

Adam’s face split into a wide grin. “Yeah. That sounds. Yeah.” He couldn’t help thinking about what, exactly, they might be able to do with the new information Caleb had discovered about himself.

Caleb felt himself being swamped with joy and arousal. His voice was tight. “Hmm, Adam, that’s, you’re, making this, unh, we should—” He extricated himself carefully, still holding Adam gently. “We should go to the “thinking unsexy thoughts” part of the program, yeah?”

Adam giggled. “Yeah. Guess you’d better be off to practice.” He gave Caleb a playful swat on the ass as he went, unprepared for how the boy froze and gave a full body shiver.

Caleb’s voice was strained. “That’s— not helping. The unsexy thoughts situation.”

Adam’s sharp inhale accompanied the jab of arousal Caleb felt in his gut. “Yeah, sorry, I— I’m thinking about boring things now. Geometric formulas. The War of 1812. The Catcher in the Rye. Better get out of here before I start thinking about how Holden Caulfield is sexy.”

They both laughed, tension still high on the air. Caleb threw a final grin over his shoulder and began to walk bowlegged out of the stairwell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To everyone who commented: you are the reason this update was written, despite finals looming  
> you inspire me and i love every single comment! I read them all multiple times!!
> 
> i am still a lame tinkerbell of a writer, so please keep commenting if you like stuff! comments fuel me!!
> 
> The next chapter will be SEXXAY, so be ready for that. yes with 2 x's and the ay. i mean what i say people. 
> 
> y'all make this fun and good ♡♡♡♡ hope you enjoy(ed)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hahaha i'm a liar but i did write an awesome chapter. the sexiness keeps getting postponed in favor of HOT and HEAVY EXPLICIT ACTION. oh did i say action? i meant FEELINGS. sorry??

Adam tried to keep to his word and focus on being proud of his boyfriend’s presumably badass football skills, instead of turned on by the bulge of his body in those skintight football uniforms. He was not particularly successful. About halfway through practice, when his mind wandered too far afield, zeroing in on the rolling movement of Caleb’s muscles under his skin, muscles he knew could hold him up against a wall while he— while  _ they _ — and he— he—  he graciously excused himself to the locker room, to squat with his head between his knees and try to take the world’s deepest breaths. 

He wondered if Caleb could still feel his emotions from the field. 

He wondered if Caleb would be able to feel it if he jacked off, if his orgasm would hit them both like a punch in the gut, if Caleb would get hard under his cup, if—  _ god _ .

 

He needed to stop. 

 

He would actually be mortified if he distracted Caleb with his dumb horny thoughts during practice where someone could notice. He needed to calm down. He just had to wait until after practice, until Caleb was done with practice, until after, when he was sweaty and hot, and he’d need to shower, and he’d strip down,  _ god _ , in the locker room, all that  _ skin _ , blotching pink and red under smooth golden-brown, bright eyes under the curly flip of dark hair, water  _ sluicing _ — this wasn’t helping. 

Normally the scent of the boys locker room made Adam wrinkle his nose comically— stale sweat and overwhelming foot odor overlaying the scent of boy— but right now he was so fucking addled, not only was it not killing his boner, he was starting to imagine he could smell Caleb’s sweat intermingled in the air, and it was pulling up images of his face twisted up in orgasmic ectsasy, panting with the effort of one orgasm after another. God, when sweaty socks couldn’t kill the mood, you knew you were in deep, he reflected. He was deluding himself if he thought he could go out there and watch the rest of practice.

With an huff, somewhere between a sigh and a laugh, he pulled out his phone and shot Caleb a quick text.

 

 

From the Messages of Adam Hayes

_ Adam _

sorry to dip but ur bangin bod was just too distracting lol 

didn’t want to disrupt practice i’ll just meet you in the parking lot when ur done

gonna do some hot n heavy studying in the meantime

 

 

Pocketing his phone, he knew Caleb would see it once he was off the field, and, still not wanting to leave his boyfriend hanging, he pulled out a notebook at random from his bag and shuffled out of the locker room to the edge of the bleachers. Catching Caleb’s eyes as he was bent half over, huffing out air from some sprinting exercise, Adam gestured exaggeratedly to the notebook he was clutching and motioned with a thumb that he was gonna go. He knew his cheeks were still flushed from the arousal swirling around his abdomen, but he tried to look as bookish and nerdy as Caleb always joked he was. Caleb nodded to him in response, and for a moment his sweaty face twisted from physical exhaustion to a nervous excitement with shining eyes and a half-smile. Adam knew he was flushing deeper. Caleb’s teeth were so white.  He turned quickly and marched away from the field trying not to think of his boyfriend’s eyes watching him leave. 

 

Half leaning on Caleb’s car, Adam half-heartedly pencilled in math exercises. He kept losing track of what he was doing and staring into the middle distance. God he was so  _ lucky _ . Soon, so freaking soon, his boyfriend, his  _ boyfriend! _ , was going to come out of the school door and sweep him off his proverbial feet. Actually, knowing Caleb, it could be off his literal feet too. Fuck, he was weak for manhandling, and having Caleb know that was both the best and the worst thing. 

And it wasn’t just the visceral knowledge of his boyfriend’s strength, all his rippling muscles— all though that wasn’t half-bad, Adam reflected. No, it was also that he had spent so much time feeling heavy, weighted down by the world, by his feelings, and in Caleb’s arms he just felt so weightless. Everywhere else, he felt like he took up too much space— too weird and nerdy, like everything he said landed wrong— but in Caleb’s arms, he was just the right size. And his body— a little too soft around the middle, a little too scrawny everywhere else, a little too weak all over— under Caleb’s hands his body felt precious, not fragile. He broke out of his reverie with a full-body shiver, all his nerves buzzing. God, he just— when was Caleb’s fucking practice going to be done? He needed— he wanted— “oh thank  _ fuck _ .” The school doors clanged open and the football team, damp with sweat and shower, poured itself raucously into the parking lot. Stuffing his proofs into his bag, Adam craned his neck for Caleb.

He jumped, then melted, when he felt Caleb’s lips on the back of his neck.

“Hi.” His voice was soft. Caleb didn’t respond with words, but murmured sound into the crook of his neck. Adam’s breath hitched, hands twisted around his backpack which rested on the hood of Caleb’s car. Caleb wrapped himself around Adam’s back, humming in the back of his throat as he nuzzled under Adam’s ear. 

“You were too late, you know.”

Adam struggled to concentrate with Caleb’s hand snaking its way around his hip. “Late for what?”

Caleb laughed and pulled back slightly. Making air quotes he spoke teasingly, “you ‘disrupted practice’ from the first moment you sat on those bleachers today.”

Adam snickered into his boyfriend’s shoulder. “Oh, fuck you too, you were  _ fine _ .”

Caleb’s answering grin was blinding, and compressed to a smirk. “Oh, I was  _ fine _ , but we haven’t gotten to the fucking yet, have we?” 

“Oh, that’s it, you—” Adam unlaced his hands from his backpack and twisted his body around to start scuffling with Caleb. They shoved at each other good naturedly for a bit, until Adam found himself pinned between the Caleb’s body and the hood of the car, breathing hard. 

Inanely, he found himself saying, “you showered.” He knew it was true, wrapped up under the smell. Caleb smelled like Old Spice bodywash and soap and still, a little like sweat and boy, underneath it all. Over him, Caleb flushed and nodded. They both became aware of the closeness of their bodies again, and, after an awkward pause, Caleb asked, “so, do you still want to, uh, I mean, should I come over?” Adam nodded vigorously, and they both sprang apart. Caleb fiddled with the keys.

“So, I’m gonna just, we can, um, I’ll drive us?”

“Yeah, that’s— you shou— yeah, yeah, I’ll just—” Adam yanked his backpack into the passenger seat with him. The air in the car as Caleb drove them to his house was charged. The awkward silence was electric with all they were not saying. Adam hefted his backpack over his lap to ground himself in the moment, his stomach doing jumping jacks. Caleb kept glancing over at him, hands tight on the steering wheel, eyes bright and hot, before tearing his gaze back to the road. 

When they finally screeched to a halt in front of the house, Adam let out his breath in a whoosh, and scampered to open the door, not looking behind him. He felt sure that if he looked back at Caleb right now, he wouldn’t be able to help himself and they’d start making out like the dumb teenagers they were, right on his front stoop. Tugging the screen door and front door open, he grabbed for Caleb’s hand behind him and all but dragged him up to his room. 

They tumbled together into the room like a hurricane, dropping backpacks and jackets to the floor, and then stood in the sudden awkward air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> actually though y'all's comments are the best. i reread them for energy and inspiration and you make the flowers grow in my heart. or whatever mushy-ass things y'all make me feel! 
> 
> anyway i'm trying to get to the sexy times, these boys just keep thwarting me with their fluffy, mushy cuteness. also their combined virginity and inexperience. my babeys need to talk Through some sex before they Do some sex. and because they're goofy fucks, they keep interrupting their own Serious Consent Sex Talk to make shitty jock/nerd jokes. that's love bitch!!
> 
> speaking of love i love you all for every comment you leave you brighten my day, nay my life!!!


	8. Chapter 8

The air was heavy for a moment, and Adam’s bed seemed to loom in the edge of their vision. They both interrupted the silence at the same time, talking over each other.

“You know, we don’t have to—”

“We should talk—”

They broke off with a laugh. Adam motioned for Caleb to go ahead.

“I was, uh, just gonna say, we should probably talk, or whatever, first, you know?” Caleb made an embarrassed face. “I know I’m supposed to— Dr. Bright— I mean, it’s important, talking about stuff so we’re, um, on the same page or whatever?”

Adam smiled. He felt fond and awkward and slightly turned on all at once, and amused to reflect that, oh, Caleb could probably  _ feel _ that, couldn’t he?

“Yeah, I mean. I was just going to say, we don’t have to— if you don’t want to, we don’t have to do— stuff. We don’t even need to talk. Well, I mean, like, we do have to talk, in general, like, in life, but we don’t have to  _ talk _ about, like,  _ stuff _ , if you aren’t— if you don’t want— yeah.”

There was a moment of crystalized silence, and then Caleb chuckled slightly.

“What?”

“We’re just— like,  _ so _ awkward at this.”

Adam started to snicker too.

“Fuck, yeah, we’re… fucking  _ dumb _ at this, Caleb, we really are.” 

“Oh come over here you fucking idiot,” Caleb held his arms open, laughter in his chest. Adam stepped into them, giggles muffling against it. 

“We are… dumbasses, Adam.  _ Dumb _ .  _ Ass. Es. _ ” 

The air lightened again. 

Mumbling into Adam’s hair, Caleb asked, “Can we like, cuddle, while we talk about this?”

“Mmph. Hmmphmphpm. MMhmmphhhm.” 

“ _ What _ , Adam?”

Adam lifted his head and tried again. “I said, yeah, you’re a genius, let’s cuddle on my bed. Dumbass.”

“Oh. I am a genius, you’re right. Let’s do this.”

They resituated themselves on the bed, Adam’s head tucked under Caleb’s chin, both of them propped up somewhere between sitting and laying down. Adam’s hand was trailing light circles on Caleb’s chest.

“So, like. Just  _ what _ were you thinking about during practice today?” Caleb’s accusatory tone was exaggerated and Adam could hear the rumble of laughter under it.

“What were  _ you _ thinking about  _ last night _ , Ca _ leb? _ ” Adam retorted, joking but serious. He wanted to know what his boyfriend imagined when he thought of them together.

“I asked first.”

“And I asked second.”

There was a beat of silence, and then Caleb protested vehemently. “H _ ey _ , you can’t— that’s not a— a— A _ dam _ — that’s not—” 

Magnanimously, Adam interrupted. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, fine. I can go first.” A touch of levity in the air instead of anxiety.

“Well, at first I was just thinking about— you know I like your body.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, well. On the field, you just move really— beautifully, I guess. Smooth and strong. And it’s— yeah, it’s hot.”

A huff of warm air in his hair, maybe disbelief, maybe embarrassed pride. Adam plowed on.

“So I, um, got a bit, uh, overwhelmed, and I didn’t want to— you were practicing on the field, so I went to take a breather in the locker room. But then I started thinking about you showering after practice and you being naked and I— — uh.”

“Yeah?”

Adam turned his blush towards Caleb’s chest and tried not to mumble. “I thought about whether you’d be able to feel it if I jerked off from that far away.”

“Shit, Adam.” Caleb’s breath had caught in his chest, but his voice was wondering. 

“And I, I tried to calm down? But I just kept thinking about, uh, last night? About what you did last night? What I  _ think _ you did last night? And um. I couldn’t.”

“ _ Shit _ , Adam.” Caleb’s voice had a whimper in it now. Adam felt it filter into his awareness that he could feel the tickles of arousal in his body. Just the beginnings of something more, almost unremarkable after spending so much of the day hyperaware and mosly hard. And yes,  _ there _ was the swoosh in his gut, the blush in his cheeks, when he imagined how loudly he must be broadcasting to Caleb. 

But Adam would not be deterred. “Can you, can you, tell me about it? About last night?”

Caleb nodded, his head almost banging on Adam’s as they lay entwined.

“Adam, it was… it was  _ good _ . The first— the first round, I barely lasted a minute. I was just thinking about— about you thinking about me, I guess? And how good it feels when you feel good, like your feelings feels  _ so good _ , like, like, shaken up soda? But also a warm bed? I don’t fucking know, it just. Yeah. So I just kind of—” Caleb made the crude jerking-off gesture with the arm not wrapped around Adam’s shoulders. 

“But it’s not like  _ that’s _ anything new. I mean.” They both snickered. 

“But then, I… I kept going? Well, I stopped touching my dick, but I— I was just touching, other places, you know? I was thinking about your, uh, nipples? Cos they’re so sensitive. And how mine aren’t usually as sensitive, but after, well,  _ after _ , they are. Apparently. And it was kind of like the feeling, the afterglow, it just— kept going? It was crazy. And then I started touching, like, around my dick? To see how close I could get before it hurt. So like, my thighs and my balls and—”

Caleb broke off. It became clear after a moment that he wasn’t going to continue. Adam craned his neck upwards and saw Caleb’s face, bright red and staring at the ceiling looking ashamed.

Adam’s mind bounced with crude questions.

_ Were you touching your ass? Did you finger yourself? Did it feel good? Did you imagine me doing it? Did you imagine me fucking you? Did it feel good? Do you want me to finger you? Can I— Will you— Can  _ **_we_ ** _ —  _

Under his cheek, Caleb suddenly squirmed fiercely, hips jumping, accompanied by a plaintive, stifled sound. When Adam looked up, his boyfriend’s face was tight and he looked like he was fighting to stay still. Adam knew  _ he _ was coursing with arousal— he had to imagine it was worse for Caleb. Still, Caleb wasn’t finishing his thought. It looked like Adam was going to have to take the leap.

“I’ve, uh. I. Sometimes, when I— when I first realized I— um. Ah. I don’t know about you, but um. I finger myself, sometimes?” Trying to get the words out felt like running sprint on wet grass. Slipping, skidding, wheezing at the finish line. The enormity and vulnerability of it felt dumb, in the face of everything else, but it felt like  _ this _ was what made him gay. Not the kind of gay that he felt when he liked Caleb’s muscles, the kind of gay that got you beat up. The shameful kind. The fag kind. 

With the admission, Caleb’s rigid posture broke. His breath whisted out of his lungs with relief and he clutched Adam to him in a sudden bear hug.

Murmuring into Adam’s hair, Caleb’s voice was embarrassed. “Me too. Obviously, that’s, um. That was what— I was trying to say? About the— yeah. I just— and you just— and— god, Adam. I fuckin— you’re— yeah.”

“You still— we still— you don’t think I’m, I’m, ah, gross, right?” Adam burrowed into Caleb’s chest. 

Caleb’s response was fierce. “NO. You’re— you’re  _ incredible _ , Adam. I— no. You’re just— the best. You’re the  _ best _ , okay?”

Adam chuckled, finally. “Yeah. I’m the best. And I’m still waiting on your full story from the other night!”

Caleb chuckled too, a weight lifted from his chest. He finally continued.

“So, yeah, after I jacked off, my, uh, dick was too sensitive? At first? So I kind of, touched around, and I, um. I touched my, my, ass? But not like fingering or anything, I just. Around. Not even with lube or anything. But it was— it was like static in my brain, it was so good. Because  of the— because I just came? And I realized I was hard again? Which was fucking  _ crazy _ , I hadn’t gone all the way soft after, and I was  _ hard _ again. Fucking wild.

So I went to go jerk off again, but it— rubbed, I guess? So I got lube for that, just to jerk off, you know. And it was just— it felt so—” Caleb’s face was twisted up in ecstasy just remembering. Adam’s hips gave an insistent jerk that he ignored. Half of a moan escaped his mouth. 

“And I kept thinking about you— well, I mean, I usually think about you in general, or whatever, but I was just thinking about you wanting to see how many times I could come, and— watching. And how if you were there, you might get that look on your face where you’re all stubborn and determined, but it would all be to get me o-o-off—” Caleb broke off with a full moan, and Adam became aware that he had been grinding Caleb’s side as he talked. His thigh was tucked between Caleb’s, and every buck of his hips jolted over Caleb’s crotch. Even as he noticed, he found himself moving his hips in little jerks, hungry for contact. 

“A-A-Adaaaaam, you have to— oooh, oh god!” 

“Should we— unh— move to the, the, the, a _ hh _ , practical portion of—”

“Yes, yes, yes!”

Caleb flipped them so he hovered on his arms over his boyfriend. He looked a little bit wild with need.

“Just, uh, fair warning— I’m— huh— about to come—”

Adam looked up with a sort of aroused wonder. “Do it, yeah, come, do it, come on me—”

And that final image was too much and Caleb shivered and shuddered and moaned his way through his first orgasm. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god the biggest thank yous to everyone who comments you make my life! you make my motivation! 
> 
> anyway guys i bet you were expecting sex and what's sexier than... open honest sexual communication? nothing that's what!
> 
> anyway more orgasms to come (pun fully intended) and lots of mushy gushy feeLINGS


End file.
